Relative Fortunes by Marlowe Benn

Relative Fortunes (Julia Kydd #1)

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As other reviewers have mentioned, this book starts slowly. Fear not the action picks up and draws the reader into the lives of the influential New York society in the 1920s.

Julia Kydd has returned from London to claim her inheritance, only to find that her older half-brother and guardian has contested their father's will and intends to claim the entire estate as his own. Her friend, Glennis, also returned from Britain, finds herself in a similar position, chaffed by the monetary oversight of her proud and ambitious older brother. The two are joined by their common woes, older brothers who feel morally and intellectually superior to their younger siblings, when they receive news of the death of Glennis's outrageous, outspoken eldest sister. The two find there are many unanswered questions as the remainder of Glennis's socially prominent family seems to sweep the death under the proverbial rug.

What follows is a very finely written mystery that explores much deeper questions about feminism, equal rights and the unwarranted belief that women should be held to a different standard than men. This book is highly recommended with the caution that patience will be needed in the beginning.

View all my reviews

Contemplating the New Normal

Now that Governor Justice has given guidance and a timeline for opening the state's businesses, I am wondering what our new normal will be like. As much as I hate it, I do believe our lives and our interactions with others will be forever changed.

While I do, so much, want to see my grandkids soon, I think these interactions behind masks and at a six-foot distance will be excruciating.  Carter, Eowyn, and Nolan will probably understand that they cannot sit on Memaw's lap and that I can't hug them as I usually do(to some degree, for them, this may be a relief), but I am afraid this lack of physical closeness will stunt my relationship with Rosalee.  She is only 20 months old, and since she lives some distance away, I have not seen her that often. I don't have the same physical bond with her as I do my other grandchildren, and I worry that I won't be able to develop the same strong bond that I have with the other three.  This is probably my biggest fear of my new normal.

I don't know what to expect when going out into the public and seeing my friends for the first time after this long separation.  How will one behave?  I am a hugger.  I hug my friends.  I cannot imagine going back to school and not hugging those I have not seen in so long.  How am I supposed to act?  In a conversation with a friend last night I likened this to the initiation of consensual contact.  "Are you okay with this?"  Awkward. I am really not going to like this.

What will our classrooms look like when schools finally reopen?  The room in which I teach math and reading intervention is very narrow.  I often have likened it to the trash compactor on the Death Star.  We cannot physically distance and cannot open the window for fresh air.  Last year in one of my groups I had a child that had a very bad cold, bad enough that the illness stands out in my memory.  Although the child always used tissues, washed her hands, and used sanitizer, I felt the room was swarming with germs. This child was certainly not the only one in school with nasal discharge or coughs.  I never have been a germophobe, even though I have a compromised immune system and probably should be a bit more concerned. Likely I will be now.

And what about the kids?  What will school be like?  Will each child and teacher be wearing masks?  Will we have a total hands-off policy?  Sometimes more than education, kids need love, demonstrated as hugs, from their teacher.  People that don't understand that have never taught in elementary school. How can we look at children, especially our most vulnerable, and say sorry, I can't hug you?  I hate the very idea of this.

I can envision other things about school that will have to change, too.  There can be no sharing of pencils and crayons.  Each child will have to have his own box of crayons, scissors, glue sticks, and pencils stored in a plastic storage bag. Papers will have to handled carefully and tables wiped down before the next class can enter. Do we have room to physically distance children in the cafeteria?  How will this impact the before and after school programs?  What will playing be like?

There is no sense in worrying about what the future will hold, especially the far off future of fall and winter.  I will look forward to these interactions, even with their limitations, when they will occur.  Until then, I will simply enjoy the abundance of nature with which we have been blessed.

And maybe adopt a shelter dog.

Observations from a Socially Distant Woman with Too Much Time on Her Hands

Hello there, friends. 

Today is the 39th day since I have been home from work.  I have been out to pick up two ClickList orders and to drop off and pick up my car for an oil change.  Aside from my husband, I have had face-to-face discourse with five people. While a lack of interaction with my kids is troubling, this period has given me time to form some opinions on our current condition.  Allow me to share them with you.

• I think Governor Jim Justice has done a wonderful job of orchestrating our course through the pandemic.  I believe he took swift action, and that has probably saved many lives.  He has surrounded himself with very competent individuals and he values their contributions and takes their opinions seriously.
• I would support Major General Hoyer, should he decide to run for president.  The man gets the job done and assumes responsibility when someone under his command commits an error.  I have great respect for him and the National Guard in general.
• The financial stimulus was distributed with much greater efficiency than my income tax refund, which is still being evaluated by the IRS.  I don't know why my refund has been held up, but it would be really nice to see that chunk of change land in my bank account.
• I want to thank all the curriculum publishers that have made their content available free of charge to teachers, parents, and students during this time.  Scholastic, Epic, Vocabulary City, PebbleGo and more have opened up their databases to share with everyone with an Internet connection.
• The manner in which county boards of education have administered their food programs is amazing.  To organize and mobilize volunteers to prepare and deliver meals in the short time they had to react is a feat I never would have imagined possible.  It is wonderful to see so many people come together for the good of our neighbors.  I feel guilty for not being able to participate in this effort.
• The question of when to reopen the economy is a serious one.  Personally, I would hope that all officials take the advice of those in the medical sector very seriously when making these decisions. I was appalled to hear some of the comments of protesters in Ohio and Michigan that wanted the economy in their state reopened.  There some good points, and I believe, some misguided opinions, the most egregious of which was that of a woman who said she needed to get her hair done. I have several counterpoints to her argument:
• First and foremost, how important is your life as opposed to your roots? What about the life of your grandkids?  Really?
• I miss seeing my stylist, who is family to me. But my stylist has her own family, which has an extended family, and they have exposure to different people through work and family contacts.  Already, just by exposure to my stylist, I would have exposure to many people who could have been exposed to the virus.  I can wait a while. Not only that, my stylist, who is family, would be exposed to ME and the few people I have been in contact with. I would not want to endanger her or her family because I need new highlights.  Don't you care about the well-being of your stylist?
• During this pandemic, I have discovered that I have some gray hair,  Yep, I am still breathing.  Gray hair is not deadly; COVID-19 is.
• Many manufacturers, including Coty and L'Oreal, have products for you to successfully mask your roots until such time as your stylist can repair this flaw.
• Finally, if you're worried about people seeing your roots, 1) you're self-isolating, no one should be able to see you, and 2) you just displayed your roots on the national news. #Fail.

Once again, we will all get through this.  It is nice to be able to open the windows and smell the fresh aromas of Spring.  I hope you all are doing well and feeling healthy.

April in Eastgate - the Stay at Home Edition

April at Eastgate - Stay-at-Home Edition

I will be honest with you:  this stay at home thing is getting old.  Don't get me wrong.  I hate leaving my house unless it involves visiting my farm, my family or my best friends.  If we weren't under social isolation orders, I would probably be socially isolated anyway. That's just me.  

It's also just me to rebel about most things I am told to do.  Being told I have to stay home is tantamount to being told I can't see my grandkids or my best friends. I have missed my grandson Carter's birthday in March, and I will miss my grandson Nolan's birthday in a couple of weeks.  One of my best friends' birthday was yesterday.  The idea that I cannot see them makes these milestones more significant and makes me want to see them even more. 

I am sure you share my dilemma but like me, you realize that this suffering is nothing compared with that of the people who feel abandoned in nursing homes or those who are dying alone, with no family by their sides. It is absolutely nothing compared to the sacrifices of the medical professionals and first responders who are sacrificing their own lives for the sake of helping others.

(I know we have many first responders and medical workers in our neighborhood.  God bless you all.)

The hardest part of this, I think, is the uncertainty of what is coming.  We have been told the next two weeks (maybe we're down to one week now) were going to be hard.  What does "hard" mean in qualitative and quantitative measures?  We don't know; no one does.  This is a stress-inducing time.

I see the stress of others in lots of ways. My husband works at an essential service and sees other people not socially distancing. He stresses because he could unknowingly become infected, and hence, bring COVID-19 home to me.

My daughters worry about their families and also about their parents' health.  They check-in on us frequently via Messenger and are taking our pre-existing conditions risks seriously. They are worried.  We are worried about them and our grandchildren.

Colleagues teaching from home are worried, too. They are worried about the children they cannot reach by phone.  They are worried that online instruction is not getting their students ready for the next grade.  They are worried about what new challenges the upcoming school year will bring.

I have sensed anxiety in the correspondence I have received from teachers and principals who are enrolled in my online class.  I have received more correspondence from people worrying if their project is "right" now than I have in the past four times I have taught this course.  The extra time gives us more time to worry.

Watching the news, including Governor Justice's and President Trump's press conferences, is as stress-inducing now as the reporting of the terrorist attacks was on 9/11. It is the repetition of information droned on and on, so reminiscent of  1984 or Brave New World, that makes me jump out of my skin, and the continual chatter of rehashing the same information over and over that makes me want to scream.

No one knows where we will all end up when this is over. Will we trust experts when they say we are safe, or will we all be suspiciously distant? How likely will we be to hug those friends and coworkers we desperately miss?  Will our outlooks on life be as affected by COVID-19 as the Great Depression affected our forebears?  Only time will tell. 

Hold on tight, folks.  We could be in for a long ride.

God bless you and please stay safe.

What will my next obsession be?

Now that Game of Thrones is over, I am looking for my next binge obsession.  Of shows that are currently running, I have three that could possibly be contenders.

The first choice is Outlander, a story that begins in post World War II Scotland and goes, well, many places in the ensuing four seasons.  Based on the novels of  Diana Gabaldon, the story involves a nurse, Claire, who visits Craigh na Dun, a stone circle, with her history professor husband.  There they witness an autumnal ritual of local women dancing to honor the stones.  Claire returns to the stones the next day to retrieve an item she dropped.  She hears a buzzing or humming among the stones, and touching one obelisk, is transported back to the same location in 1743.  There she is taken in by the MacKenzie clan and marries a young heir to the clan, Jamie Fraser. Over the show's four seasons, Claire and Jamie's love faces many challenges, most notably from a twisted English army officer, an ancestor and a dead image of Claire's 20th-century husband.  Time travel takes Jamie and Claire to different places and times throughout the four seasons.  When season four concluded, the Frasers were pioneers in colonial North Carolina.

This series is a time-travel fantasy and includes many political intrigues, but it is not the same level of fantasy and politics as Game of Thrones.  The events of Outlander parallel the histories of Scotland, England, and the United States, while the political intrigues of GOT are an amalgamation of many historical incidents and the producers', writers' and author's imagination.  While Game of Thrones has been called out for gratuitous nudity and sex, the numerous sex scenes in Outlander is not without context, But, to be honest, by season four, the Claire and Jamie's romantic encounters did feel a lot like any Nora Roberts novel.

There are clearly main characters in Outlander, whereas in Game of Thrones many could have contended for main character status.  Also, in Outlander, the characters are fairly placed in good guy-bad guy camps.  There is no nuance.

That being said, I can recommend Outlander as a GOT light, with a heavy lean toward chick flick.  I am looking forward to the season five premiere on February 16, 2020, on Starz Network.

November is My Favorite Month

     November is my favorite month for many reasons.  First, it is my birthday month.  Second, November is often punctuated by school holidays.  This year, school will be out November 11 and November 21-29, assuming we don't have any snow days before then.  But finally, it is the month of Thanksgiving, which as always been my favorite holiday.
   

 A couple of years ago, folks of Facebook posted something they were thankful for each day of the month.  I really enjoyed that.  We all have so much that we are thankful for, but we seldom take time to verbalize our thanks. The tradition died away after some people basically called out people who posted each day, diminishing their sentiments as silly or annoying. On the contrary, I think it is a great tradition that we should resurrect.
     I am most thankful that my health is improving.  About six years ago, a tsunami of events collided to wreck my health.  I was overworked, working my full-time job as a school librarian and as many as six additional part-time jobs, not so much for the money but for the opportunities the provided.  I was the sole person to take my mom and brother to their doctors' appointments and the one who looked after them during hospitalizations.  I thought I was handling all this exceptionally well, but apparently, I was wearing myself down. 
     Beginning in the summer of 2015, the strain was showing.  I was a nervous wreck most days, and physical effects started to appear.  My mother was placed in a nursing home following a bout of sepsis, and she hated it.  She would call me several times a day to complain about her situation.  These calls even came when I was at the beach with my family.  I pretty much had a little breakdown and a good cry.  I all seemed so hopeless.
     Soon my brother's health declined. He had a toe amputation that was healing very well, but he overcompensated when walking and broke two bones in the other foot.  Being a diabetic, he did not feel any pain until sepsis set in. 
     Long story short, this was the start of a final decline for both of them, but for my brother, we did not recognize the symptoms. My body responded to all of this with my own minor illnesses, treated by courses of antibiotics about every six weeks. The day my mother died in November I went to the clinic and asked for enough prednisone and antibiotics to get me through the funeral.  I was prescribed the steroids, Levaquin and cough syrup.  My health improved for about two weeks, and then I was back in the clinic for a double dose of Levaquin.
     I repeated this process from December through February.  The antibiotics I had taken had not killed whatever bug I had.
     On February 17, my brother died.  I was devastated.  All the strength I had was disappeared.  
     I muddled through the rest of February and most of March. One day in late March I came home from school and decided to take a nap before dinner.  I woke up four hours later with a 104-degree fever.  Sepsis.  I remember laying in the hospital bed watching a bright red climb up my leg.  I knew that all the antibiotics I had taken had rendered me immune to much of their benefits.
     I was released from the hospital eight days later. I was homebound for about six weeks, weak and sleeping a good bit of the time.  When I returned to work my friends Venus and Rhonda helped me.  I could not lift a tote of books, and shelving took about all I had. I had joint and muscle pain and extreme fatigue.  I lost some of my hair.  I was a hot mess.
     Compared to others who had sepsis, I had it easy.  Still, it took me almost two years to get my strength back.
    This brings me to my offering of thanks. My sepsis was caught early and possibly was not at the severe stage. It's been a long two years, but the phantom pain and exhaustion are gone.  I feel like I can actually do some yard work and maybe take a walk on the trail.
    The mortality rate for severe sepsis is 25 to 30 percent.  Knowledge is the key to stopping it early.  My goal is to make sure as many people as possible know the warning signs and speak up if a loved one has any symptoms.  See the graphic to learn the signs and save someone's life.

Halloween is a Big Deal in Eastgate

     This Thursday children from outlying areas will join our neighborhood kids to walk the streets of Eastgate, dressed in all manner of attire from cute to creepy. Traditionally, more than 300 children trick-or-treat in our neighborhood.  Parents from more rural areas drive their children here, as our neighbors have always welcomed all children, regardless of where they lived.
     Starting about 20 years ago, law enforcement blocks automobile access to our neighborhood once trick-or-treating began.  The idea was not to keep people out but to keep everyone safe. Given our troubling times, this assistance is doubly welcome.
     I always look forward to seeing my children from Brookhaven Elementary.  Some children know where I live and look forward to visiting my driveway to show me their costumes.  Others are totally surprised by my presence.  Each year I could count on some child screaming to his parents.  "Look!  It's my library teacher!"  I can still remember the look on the face of the little boy who said, "I know you!  You're the Book Fairy!"
    Things have changed since I first participated in Eastgate's Halloween celebration 33 years ago.  When my children were very little in the late 80s, my husband or I would walk around the neighborhood with our kids while the other stayed home to give out treats.  Once the kids were eight or nine, they could trick-or-treat with their friends.  It was that kind of neighborhood where everyone looked after everyone else. It still is.
     Once my kids were older I started looking forward to seeing my schoolkids come by in their costumes.  Some are shy, but some will boldly run down the driveway to give me a hug.  I always worried about running out of candy before I had seen all my kids.
     Of course, we always had visits from teenagers not ready to abandon this childhood ritual.  Strangely, they never seemed to be the children who went through our school or lived in our neighborhood.  I never questioned their presence but treated them as I did any of the little kids.  There were a few,  though, that left me speechless.
     The first person was a sixteen-year-old girl that lived in our neighborhood.  I didn't know her, but I had seen her around.  She approached me and said the obligatory "Trick or treat!"  I gave her a few pieces of candy.  Then she held out another pillowcase and explained, "This is for my mother."  Okay.
     I did not know the second young lady, but she too had two bags, one for herself and one for her unborn baby.  Seriously?
     Now I am no longer the library teacher or the Book Fairy, but I still look forward to seeing the children have fun running amok. We don't see as many in the older sections of our neighborhood as we once did.  Parents tend to gravitate to the newer sections of our neighborhood, which is where the majority of our children now live.  Not too many of my immediate neighbors hand out candy anymore.  I will buy the candy, and if I don't see as many children, it will be more for those who do!